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Is It OK To Use The Term “Special Needs?”

People can be really mean sometimes. People can be really kind sometimes. This pretty much sums up what I have learned about the internet as a blogger. I delete inappropriate comments without...

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Ten Things We Don’t Do To Celebrate Christmas

I have been feeling the pressure for a while now. It was subtle at first. Like a vague feeling of stress, mixed with the whisper that I am forgetting something. Then, as the holiday season progressed,...

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On Denial, Hope And Parenting A Child With Special Needs

One week, I was telling my son’s doctor how great he was doing. The next, paramedics were at our house loading my child into an ambulance. The week after that, I was on the phone with his therapist,...

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Parenting Chaos: Practical Support For Parents Of Explosive Children

The last couple of months have brought more meltdowns and explosive behavior than I have really been able to share here. My boys are older. It looks different. It feels different. It hurts more. Over...

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Living In Fear Of The Next Bad Thing: Mothering A Child With Special Needs

Last night, just as the sun was setting, my son had an idea. “Let’s build a fire outside and just relax.” His enthusiasm was contagious. Although this is typically something I would not do until my...

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Living In Fear Of The Next Bad Thing: Mothering A Child With Special Needs

Last night, just as the sun was setting, my son had an idea. “Let’s build a fire outside and just relax.” His enthusiasm was contagious. Although this is typically something I would not do until my...

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Top 10 Most Popular Posts From Not The Former Things

In the almost six years since I started blogging here at Not The Former Things, a lot has happened. Not just in my home life (because seven serious diagnoses across two kids is easily described as a...

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What Happens When My Child With Autism Grows Up?

She looked at me, right in the eyes, and smiled. She nodded knowingly, and then went back to her son, who was loudly lecturing her on the prices of bread. He looked, in my opinion, to be about 25. He...

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When We Fail Our Children (and we will)

In my worst moments, I can’t help but think that God made a mistake. That I wasn’t supposed to be his mom. That his mom was supposed to be the lady in the grocery store that never shouts at her...

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How Do I Keep My Child With Special Needs Safe?

I watched the cashier ring up my groceries, checking the prices and making sure I had remembered everything on my list. My youngest was not even a year old, and was curled up next to my heart in a...

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Love Is Always The Best Treatment Plan

I remember two nurses that worked in shifts at the hospital when my son was born. The day nurse was very harsh, and not at all maternal. The night nurse was super sweet and merciful. I was a brand new...

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Am I Spoiling My Child or Accommodating His Special Needs?

Last week, I sat on yet anther couch and prepared myself for whatever the therapist had to say. She has been working with my son for a few months, I am not involved at all in their sessions. (This is...

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When I Don’t Know How To Help My Child

It was 4 o’clock in the afternoon when it started. My son had been outside, working on a pond project in our backyard. He came inside, clearly overheated and tired. About 30 minutes later, he began...

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Special Needs Parenting: When Your Husband Doesn’t Get It

“There are times,” I admitted with a sigh. “There are times that I wish I could just give him an injection of autism awareness and education. Like a vaccine. Or a strong dose of IV antibiotics.” My...

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Sleep Deprivation and Mothering a Child with Special Needs

I celebrated my 44th birthday last summer. My family blessed me with exactly the right gift – two nights away to get caught up on sleep.  It was literally the only gift I really wanted. After several...

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When Your Child With Special Needs Is Bullied

I heard the boys snickering and turned to see what was going on. My son was awkwardly trying to catch water balloons, as several boys threw them at him. It was the end of school party on the last day...

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One Of The Most Difficult Parts Of Sensory Processing Disorder: Bathing

My son has never been one for baths. It was evident from the start. When he was just a couple of weeks old, he was admitted to a children’s hospital. He was desperately ill, and no one knew why. We...

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What I Hope My Children Say About Me Someday

My husband and I had a cup of coffee together this morning. Both boys were up half the night.  The only advantage of this, is that they slept in and we were able to steal some precious morning moments...

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Is My Child With Autism A Public Nuisance?

“You have to stop hitting your head on the walls. If you do, they are going to make us move,” I said, crying, trying to help my son calm down, desperate and not knowing what to do. He was eight, and...

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20 Things I Have Learned Since My Son Was Diagnosed With Autism

  It’s been more than seven years now, since my son was diagnosed with autism. It seems like yesterday. It seems like a lifetime ago. 1. A lack of sleep makes everything seem worse than it actually is....

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